Adding one sweet, little human to our lives has taken up a lot of space in my brain. I think about Bensen more than I think about myself, my job, school, Howie and even Joe. Right now, the things that involve the baby take priority over everything else in life, but I'm still set on making my marriage a priority, and I know that there are things I have to do in order to accomplish that. After two months, I've realized that parenting takes a lot of thought and most days I haven't left a lot of time to think about Joe. My goal for this month is to think about him more and be aware of how I can be helping him on a daily basis.
Adding one sweet, little human to our lives has taken up a lot of space in my brain. I think about Bensen more than I think about myself, my job, school, Howie and even Joe. Right now, the things that involve the baby take priority over everything else in life, but I’m still set on making my marriage a priority, and I know that there are things I have to do in order to accomplish that. After two months, I’ve realized that parenting takes a lot of thought and most days I haven’t left a lot of time to think about Joe. My goal for this month is to think about him more and be aware of how I can be helping him on a daily basis.
Do you know your spouse’s favorite color, food, treat, movie type, hobby, etc.? Do you know what activities or topic of conversation make them the most excited about life? When I plan date night, I like to think about the things that I know Joe would enjoy doing. When I’m at the store, sometimes I’ll pick up something that I know he loves for our next meal or just as a surprise that he can find in the pantry later.
Find one thing you can do daily to serve your spouse. Maybe you do a household chore that would normally be their job to do or be one step ahead of them on everything that they’re doing throughout the day so that they have less work to do. Make a hot breakfast for them to enjoy before work in the morning, pack their lunch for them so that they have time to enjoy that breakfast and take care of the things that they’d normally need to do after work so that they have time to do other things they enjoy or to spend with you.
Related: 10 Ways to Connect with Your Spouse in 10 Minutes or Less
Joe and I like to sync our Google calendars. I’m a paper planner girl and don’t really ever refer to my Google calendar, but I keep it updated with all of our events so that Joe knows what I have going on. We check in with each other before making plans to make sure that the don’t interfere with plans that the other person has. It’s always disappointing when you’re looking forward to something and it doesn’t get to happen because someone else planned something that takes priority over the top of it without bothering to check with you first. Even if we aren’t able to coordinate our activities, I know I appreciate it when the conflict is discussed with me so that we can find a solution together.
“How was your day?” is probably the most commonly asked question in households, but I’m guessing that it’s one that is asked out of habit or courtesy, kind of like “How are you doing?” Do you really want an answer other than “Good!” or are you just asking to seem like you care? I try to ask more direct and personal questions like, “Did you catch anyone stealing today?” or “How many lawns did you get mowed?” etc. I think about the things that I know Joe had going on (because I’m aware of his schedule ^) and direct my questions accordingly. And then, I listen to what he has to say and ask follow up questions so that he knows I really do care how his day went.
There never used to be a whole lot that Joe and I had to do for each other. Every once and a while I’d feed the dog for him in the morning or he’d feed my fish (these have become our unspoken responsibilities around the house) or something equally as simple. Having a baby around has made this “stepping in” for the other and taking on their responsibilities more frequent. The summer months are busy for Joe with lawn care on top of his regular day job. I have to be willing to do my own things and pick up the slack where he might not have the time. He does the same for me during the winter months when my homework load is a little heavier than normal. It’s a relationship of give and take and sometimes one of us is giving a lot more than the other, but in the end, it all evens out!
How will you be more intentional with your thoughts toward your spouse this month? If you have a goal for your marriage, write about it and link up with us below!
