A lot of couples have been together 24/7 over the last few months. For some marriages, that’s the norm. Some spouses run businesses together, others work from home on a regular basis. Regardless of your situation, just because you spend all of your time together, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s quality time. Even if you’re together all day, every day, you need to be intentional about prioritizing your marriage, if you want your relationship to continue to grow and thrive. I’ve got a few tips to help you make that happen, in your various stages of life.
Related: Four Simple Ways to Connect with Your Spouse on a Daily Basis
Find one simple thing you can do each day that allows you to truly focus on each other. Some couples chat over a cup of coffee or their favorite drink. Others enjoy a long walk at the end of a busy day. You might have a ritual of sitting and eating together, without technology, on your lunch breaks. Or maybe you enjoy a good pillow talk session before going to sleep. Your connecting could even take place while you wash dishes together, work in the yard or fold all of your laundry.
Connecting rituals will look different for every couple, based on what they enjoy doing together. But every connecting ritual should allow you to talk and listen without being distracted. You should put your phones and other technology aside so you can focus on each other. And I always suggest talking about more personal things, not the “business” side of your marriage. Work on getting to know each other better and deepening your trust and connection with your spouse.
Related: The Best Conversation Starters for Couples
One of the things that I hear marriage experts talk about a lot lately is that couples need to be having more fun together. When we get married, we take on a lot of new, adult responsibilities together. There’s rent or a mortgage to pay, a house to manage, jobs to work at, and bills to pay. And then you become parents and you take on even more responsibility. Adult life, and our world right now in general, can be stressful and serious. Amidst the big decisions you’re making and all of the things you’re managing together, don’t forget to make time for fun and laughter!
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Related: 11 Ways to Play More in Your Marriage
It can be easy to take each other for granted, especially when you have the same routines each day. We do things for each other and for our family on a daily basis. Some of those things have become expected, or are unspoken assignments as a member of the household. The next time your spouse takes out the garbage, waters the flowers in the yard, makes the bed, or does the dishes, thank them! And don’t just give a simple “thank you”, tell them why you appreciate what they did, and how it helps you. A little gratitude will go a long way in helping you to be more grateful and make your spouse feel appreciated.
Related: 20 Things to Thank Your Spouse for Daily
Even when you’re spending every day and every night together, your marriage still needs date night! Date night provides the two of you an opportunity to escape from your life responsibilities and get back to the roots of your relationship. It’s a time to have fun and connect and get to know each other better. Make sure that you have date night on the calendar at least once a week. Plan something you both enjoy doing together, that you know will bring fun to your day/week. And make sure your date night activity is something you don’t do every other day or night that you’re together.
Related: Why You Need to Make Date Night a Priority in Your Marriage
This suggestion might seem counteractive, but hear me out! When you’re together all the time, you need to make an effort to spend time apart. Set aside one night a week for you each to do your own thing. You could simply spend your time in opposite rooms of the house, watching your own show and working on your own project. Maybe you go out to do the grocery shopping or run other errands. Or you could grab your personal favorite takeout and have a one-person picnic at a local park while you read a book. Do something that YOU love doing on your own, that your spouse might not necessarily enjoy doing. Take the time to recharge and unwind and get to know yourself better.
Related: Why You Need to Be Dating Yourself Too
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “quality over quantity” and it applies to your marriage as well. Just because you are spending lots of time together, doesn’t mean that it’s strengthening your marriage. When you are intentional with the time you are spending together, your marriage will flourish. Regardless of how many hours you spend in the same room each day, be more intentional with your marriage. Make your spouse and your relationship a real priority!