My husband and I aren’t what most people would consider an adventurous couple. We aren’t into off-roading, rock climbing, water skiing, winter skiing, skydiving, or any of those “adventure” type activities. Adventurous people often love the adrenaline rush that comes with whatever activity they’re engaged in. I choose to believe that you don’t have to do something that feels risky or scary to one or both of you in order to have an adventure in your marriage!
The dictionary definition of adventure mentions the phrases “typically hazardous” and “exciting activity”. But it also talks about unusual and exciting experiences or activities, and the exploration of unknown territory. I choose to focus on those last two phrases to create a more general picture of adventure that every couple can enjoy and feel comfortable with. In a study done by a professor of social psychology, it was found that couples were more likely to keep the romance alive and their relationship strong if they looked for something new and different to do for date nights occasionally (Aaron, 2000).
This is what adventure looks like to me! It’s stepping outside of your comfort zone together to try something new and fun! Maybe you are the type of couple who likes to go skydiving or scuba diving. But if you’re not, that’s ok! I’m here to tell you that you can still have adventure in your marriage. And you can still enjoy all of the benefits of new experiences and adventure without taking up an extreme sport together!
Related: 15 Ways to Have More Fun in Your Marriage
This activity is at the top of my date night list for the coming year! Is there a type of food that the two of you have never had? For us, it’s Indian food and I’m determined to change that soon. Make a list of types of food or specific foods (ie sushi) that you would be interested in trying together. Then reach out to friends and family on social media and ask for recommendations. You can ask them where you should go and what you should order. It might not be something you find yourselves loving or maybe you discover new favorite foods. Either way, it will be a fun new experience to have together!
One of the simplest ways to add newness and adventure to your relationship is by changing up your regular routines. A few times a month, choose a different way to drive or walk to get to your destination. If you aren’t sure how to get where you’re going, consult a map app that will give you a few different options. You’ll discover new businesses, fun neighborhoods, and gorgeous new scenery.
Pick a location within a couple of hours of home and plan a day to explore that area. Consult social media and local tourism guides for what you should do while you’re there. Eat at local restaurants, and learn more about the area’s claim to fame or what they do there. Depending on the season, they might have a variety of different activities you can participate in.
It could be fun to do something similar in the town where you live, or in each of your hometowns. Explore close to home, the things you might not realize are there. You could be missing out on great adventures in your own backyard.
Trying to make a decision can be the most annoying part of deciding what to do together. So why not let someone else decide for you? Give yourselves two options (ie Mexican food or Italian food, outside date or inside date) and determine heads or tails to make your decision.
You can do this as simple as driving a different route somewhere. Shift the order you do things each day. Change locations for eating, or even swap places at the table. Trade sides of the bed just one night or for a week or even more permanently. Swap household tasks. It’s simple to add some excitement and change to your relationship.
Individually in your relationship, you each probably have your own interests and activities you love to participate in. It’s important to have things you do on your own, to maintain your sense of self. But it could also be fun to share that piece of yourself with your spouse every once in a while. Invite them to join you in whatever activity you enjoy doing. Read a book your spouse is reading, try their favorite restaurant or menu item, learn more about topics they enjoy, etc. Do those things together to make this a fun and unique piece of your relationship.
I really, really love The Adventure Challenge and everything their products offer. I think it’s the perfect way to do something new, different, and exciting together! Nothing in their books is super risky, and you can pick what you’ll be doing based on budget, time limit, weather, and location. I’ve shared details about a few of my very favorite products from their site below. Check them out and see if it’s something you’d enjoy in your marriage.
There are editions for couples, families, friends, and to do on your own. But The Couples Edition is my favorite, for obvious reasons. It’s perfect for date night or when you’re just looking to change up your daily routine. They provide you with enough information to know what your budget, time frame, and location will need to look like. But the actual activity remains a total surprise until you scratch off the instructions! None of the adventures that we’ve done so far have been too far out of our comfort zone. Some have been things we are excited to do, that are totally us. Others are things we’ve just never done, but it’s fun to experience something new together. This book makes an AMAZING gift and I’ve given it to my own husband and other couples as well.
Each book from The Adventure Challenge acts as a keepsake. The pages are thick and high quality, so they’ll last a long time. Next to each scratch-off box, you’ll find some lines for writing about your adventure, and a place to stick a picture to deepen the memories you shared. The Adventure Challenge has the option to purchase an Instamax camera with film. With that camera, you can quickly capture your adventure and stick that picture in the book to remember forever. This set makes the perfect gift for any couple in your life.
This subscription box was created to go along with The Couples Edition. Each month you’ll receive a box curated to fit one or two of the adventures included in that book. It takes those adventures up a notch to an even more involved experience for your marriage. Pairing a subscription with The Couples Edition is a fun way to make date night a priority, and take a lot of the work off your plate.
The newest book from the company is one that I’m really excited about! It was designed to bring more fun and connection to your physical intimacy. The book has been approved and reviewed by a Certified Sex Coach. It’s not just about trying a new position, it’s about deepening your connection and creating more intimacy in your marriage, all around. The title of this book is built around the idea of reading a fortune cookie and adding “…in bed” to the end of whatever it says. That is something that we’ve always jokingly done in our marriage, so it made me love this book even more! This is a product that I believe every couple can benefit from.
Related: Celebrating the Small Things in Your Marriage
The Adventure Challenge on its own makes a great gift! I’ve gifted it a few times myself and the recipient has always been excited when they open it. It makes a great gift for your spouse and doubles as an experience gift that you can work through together. If you know any couples getting married, or are gifting to a couple for any occasion, it’s a great option as well. I came up with two ideas that make The Adventure Challenge an even more exciting gift.
The Adventure Challenge released The Adventure Box Subscription to pair with their Couples Edition of the book! Every month, you’ll receive a box filled with everything you need to complete one of the challenges in your box. Scratch off the corresponding adventure and use the subscription box to experience something fun and different for date night. Gift the Couples Edition book, with the camera if you want, and subscribe to The Adventure Box so your gift continues to give all year long. It’s a great way to remind you to keep adventuring together!
Related: How Adventure Dates Will Transform Your Relationship
The Adventure Challenge ….In Bed is a great new scratch-off book that includes 50 challenges to deepen the connection you share and create new memories. They’ve even gotten approval from a certified sex coach for the challenges and goals of this book. This book would pair so well with two of my other favorite, high-quality intimacy products. Coconu lubricants are organic and safe for use in and on your body! Their Intimacy Gift Set contains a tube of all three types of lubricant. It would be the best addition to the …In Bed book. Then pick out a piece from Mentionables or order a gift card to include with the book.
Related: Gift Ideas to Strengthen Your Marriage in the Coming Year
I nicknamed the car that I drove in high school, The Adventure Mobile, and called it that fondly. We didn’t take it offroading or do anything potentially illegal in it. But it was known that whenever you were with me, crazy things tended to happen. I would always run into people I knew in the most random of places, have the craziest things go wrong, and there was always guaranteed to be lots of laughter and memories made if you went somewhere with me.
Life is an adventure that you get to live together. Step outside of your comfort zones together, but not so far outside of that zone that the feelings you have are more scary than thrilling! Adventure in your marriage can be simple. As long as it’s fun and new and allows you to connect and make memories, you’re good to go.
Resources
Aron, A., Norman, C.C., Aron, E.N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R.E. (2000). Couples’ shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 78(2), 273-284.