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Why You Need to Check In on Your Marriage on a Regular Basis

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Every couple has big conversations before they get engaged and married (I hope)! These conversations involve things like future family plans, financial goals and habits, expectations, etc. But the truth is, no matter what you talk about before you get married, you can't anticipate every situation that life is going to bring your way. It would be ideal if you had a plan for everything going into your marriage, but that just isn't possible. Every stage of life comes with new challenges and although you can plan for a lot of them, the details aren't always in your control.

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Every couple has big conversations before they get engaged and married (I hope)! These conversations involve things like future family plans, financial goals and habits, expectations, etc. But the truth is, no matter what you talk about before you get married, you can’t anticipate every situation that life is going to bring your way. It would be ideal if you had a plan for everything going into your marriage, but that just isn’t possible. Every stage of life comes with new challenges and although you can plan for a lot of them, the details aren’t always in your control.

The past few years have confirmed to me the need for frequent discussions about the bigger, more serious things in life. Things that Joe and I talked about before we got married have come up and gone according to plan but other things have come up with complications that we never imagined we would encounter and a few situations that we never even thought to talk about beforehand. We hadn’t planned on having our kids so close together and never could have anticipated that our little one would come eight weeks early. There are so many other adventures that we’ve been on in the six years that we’ve been together and I know that there are so many other things that we’ll go through together in our marriage.

Related: Check In With Your Spouse Before They Check Out

I’m always so grateful for the best friend, teammate and partner that I am married to. I don’t know what I’d do without him by my side. He is always there to hold me up, support me, cheer me on, and hold my hand, no matter what comes our way. I’m so grateful that we built a great foundation of communication and know what our priorities, values and limits are. Even so, every day, there is something new to discuss. We have to make a decision about how we are going to parent, the home we are striving to create, the way we want to spend our money and the goals and dreams that we are going to go after next.

Each week we have a family meeting to talk about the things that we have going on in the coming week and how we can work together to make sure that it goes smoothly. Every year around our anniversary, we set goals together for the coming year. This past year, we sat down and put together a plan for the things that we want to have accomplished by our ten year anniversary and then we mapped out the things we need to do each year until that point in order to achieve those goals. And every time something big happens, we reevaluate our plans and make sure that we are still on the same page and moving forward as a team.

Related: Does Your Marriage Need a Checkup?

Couple Checkup helps you discover what topics need more discussion in your marriage. We took the evaluation a couple of years ago and are taking it again right now (I’m waiting for Joe to complete his portion). I especially love that the assessment is catered to couples across all ages and stages in life. Each couple will answer a series of questions and then you will be able to download and print a discussion guide catered to your results.

Make a point to discuss things when they come your way. Take advantage of National Marriage Week and do something to strengthen yours. You won’t regret it, I know we haven’t!

Photography by Kayla Brooke Photography