Do you often or always find yourselves sitting in front of the TV, binge-watching your current show together at the end of the day? I know we do! Right now it’s the way we wind down after the kids are in bed, the house is cleaned up and we’ve both finished our homework for the night. But I’d like to change that habit so that we’re not immediately turning on the TV and doing other things together more nights than not. And I wanted to provide you with some things to do with your spouse that don’t involve watching TV.
Any time you have together is an opportunity to connect, strengthen your relationship, and have a “mini-date”. If you spend all of that time watching TV together, you’re not maximizing your opportunities to make your marriage a priority! Use the ideas in this post to start minimizing the time you sit together in front of a screen. Either keeping the TV off altogether most nights or doing these things before you sit down to watch just one or two episodes together.
Have you ever sat down together and put your love story into words? It’s something that would be fun to look back on and that your kids would love to read or watch later on in life. I love the idea of a journal-type record of both sides of the story from the day you met until you got engaged. Or it could be fun to sit down together and record various moments from your love story together on video. Click here for even more ideas for recording your love story together.
Remember when you were dating and you would talk all the time as you got to know each other? You should continue doing that throughout your marriage! You will never know everything about each other, and we’re always changing and growing and finding new interests, so you have to continue getting to know each other. Click here for my favorite conversation starter resources and pull them out once or twice a week to get to know your spouse even better.
Search for a puzzle that’s challenging enough that it will take you a bit to complete it. Then sit down a couple of nights a week and work on it together while you talk or listen to an audiobook or podcast together. Click here for more fun ways to incorporate puzzles into your next date night.
We registered for and received a lot of fun games for our wedding. But we don’t play them often enough. I’d love to have a dedicated game night when the two of us sit down and play one of our games together during the week.
My friends over at The Average Daters are always playing games together. They have this awesome resource with all of their favorite two-player games. They also have some other game lists that you might want to check out, including card games and games for groups.
My husband and I don’t spend a lot of time together in the kitchen. But when we find something we really love to eat, we enjoy working together to find the perfect recipe. Pick one night a week to set the kids up with their own meal, and work together in the kitchen making something a little extra special for the two of you to eat. Click here for some great date night cookbooks you might enjoy working from, including our favorite, Date Night In.
If you’re looking for something more low-key to do at the end of a long day, sit down together with a drink. You don’t have to be active or even talk a lot if you’re feeling drained. We love getting a cup of hot chocolate or sparkling cider to make our time extra special. Then we sit out on the deck, or on our couch looking out the window, and just enjoy each other’s company.
I always joke that my husband’s other love language is memes. But he also has a fondness for “dad jokes”. Spend some time throughout the week collecting good jokes or funny memes. Then sit down together one night and share them with each other. See who has the best ones, and how many you found that were the same. It’s something simple you can do to connect and have fun together before turning on your current binge show.
Is there something that you’ve been wanting to learn together? There are always great classes offered through local universities or community centers. Some are skill-based and others are knowledge-based. It could be a lifestyle you want to learn, parenting skills, how to better your relationship, or how to become a better version of yourself. Pick a class to take together online, or in person if it’s available, and work on it one night a week.
Going on walks together at night has been one of our favorite things to do from the beginning of our relationship. We’re in a stage of life when we can’t do that as much because we can’t leave our kids alone. But I look forward to the day when we can leave our kids home by themselves at night while we go on a short walk and talk around the neighborhood. It keeps us active, gets us out of the house, allows us to explore where we live, and gives us time to talk.
I always hear people say that they don’t have time to read. And I’m guilty of saying it myself sometimes. But if we cut out some of our screen time, and sat down with a book instead, we’d be surprised by how much we got to read. Pick up a non-fiction book you’ve been wanting to read to improve your marriage, parenting, finances, etc. Or pick out a fiction series that you’d both enjoy, or that you want to introduce your spouse to, and tackle that instead. Click here for more tips on starting a mini book club in your marriage.
I used to love to lay on my bed at night and just listen to music. When was the last time you and your spouse did that together? Grab your music libraries, whether they’re on your phone or another device, and listen together. Click here for more ideas on turning this into a mini date.
Is there something the two of you have always talked about learning together? Maybe you want to learn to dance, or learn a new language, or something like crochet or paint or decorate cakes. You can learn pretty much anything online these days, from the comfort of your home. Search for some free video tutorials, or invest in an online course from someone who knows their stuff. Then set aside time and practice together one night a week.
A lot of people are into podcasts right now. True crime, politics, self-help, all the things. We’ve loved listening to The Office Ladies podcast and then watching the corresponding episode that they talk about. We try to catch all of the things we didn’t before or see it from a new perspective based on what they shared. Podcasts usually release an episode each week, so you can sit down together to listen to and discuss the new episode once night a week. Click here for our favorite podcasts about marriage.
Sit down together and make a list of projects around your house that you want to work on. Some might be small, like caulking the window sills or patching some holes. Others might be big like repainting a room or building something. Pick a night or two each week to tackle projects together and start crossing things off your list.
I love seeing couples who both love soccer participating in indoor soccer leagues together. Often they’re on different teams, but they spend one night a week playing and watching each other’s games. Whether you’re into team sports or something more one-on-one, like tennis. Find a sport you can participate in together throughout the year and incorporate it into your week.
Have you heard of this awesome book for couples? The Adventure Challenge is just that. It provides you with 50 challenges that will be a surprise to you when you scratch them off! You do have an idea of what you’re getting before you scratch. They provide you with a category, time, and money guide next to each box so you can pick one that fits your current situation. Then you enjoy the adventure, take a picture and record your memory in the book! Click here to grab your couples version of The Adventure Challenge for 10% off with code APM10.
We have a million pictures on our computers that we’ve dumped into folders from our phones and cameras over the years. The goal of taking pictures is to record memories, but we often don’t look at them after taking them. Sit down together and go through all of the pictures you’ve taken together over the years. You could organize them and add them to a photo book of your choosing while you’re at it too!
Ok, so this one does actually involve watching TV. But it’s not mindlessly binging a show like we often find ourselves doing. We currently love to watch The Masked Singer, but we don’t get to watch it live every week. So we pick a night to watch it on Hulu after it’s aired, and watch it while trying to figure out who is under each mask together. You could do this with any show that is releasing new episodes each week. Like The Mandalorian on Disney+ or This Is Us or any other show that you love. Set aside the time to sit together and actively watch and discuss the episode together.
If it feels overwhelming to spend that much non-screen time together each week, start small. Pick one night each week to participate in one of these activities, before turning on the TV. After a few weeks, keep the TV off that night altogether and lengthen your activity or just talk together afterward. Then add another night, and another, until you’ve reached your goal of watching (or not watching) screens together at night. You won’t regret the extra quality time you’re spending together!
