In the nine years that we’ve been together, Joe and I have done a lot of goal setting as a couple. We have been more successful with some goals than we have with others. When I look back on the success that we have seen when setting goals as a couple, I realized that those goals had one thing in common. The areas in life where we’ve seen the most success are the ones that we value the most.
If one or the other of us isn’t completely invested in the area of the goal that we set out to achieve, that goal fades away and is eventually forgotten about. The key to success with any goal is to make sure it’s something that you really care about and are committed to making happen. The key to success with goals in your marriage is to make sure that both of you care about it. And that you are committed to following through until you have completed what you set out to achieve!
Related: The Importance of Setting Goals in Your Marriage
I watched a video from Rachel Cruze a few years ago about the importance of knowing what the values are in your marriage, both as a couple and as individuals. One of the things that Rachel suggested is to talk about your biggest dreams together. I suggest making a date out of it! Go out to dinner, chat over ice cream, or go on a leisurely walk. It doesn’t matter what your date activity is, as long as it is one that allows you to really talk as a couple. Don’t be afraid to voice your wildest dreams, even the ones that don’t seem achievable!Â
Related: How to Set Goals for Your Marriage in the New Year
Goals should be as unique as the people who set them. Just as the things that we value most are different from those around us. On the outside, your goal may seem similar to someone else’s, but the reasons and the heart behind it will be different.
My friend Chelsea (ChelseaAvery.com) and her husband Ryan spent 2015 saving up money so that they could travel the world. A lot of couples might set a goal to do this same thing! But there are very few who are doing it for the same reason that Ryan and Chelsea did. Those little goals they set and achieved all led up to them achieving one big one. To set a world record for being the youngest couple to speak professionally on all seven continents, including Antarctica. Find your why as a couple and let it guide your dreams and your goal setting!
Even though Joe and I share many goals in life, we also have our own individual goals. I was in school for the first six and a half years of our relationship. From the time we started dating until halfway through being pregnant with our second baby. Joe supported and encouraged me through all of my schooling. The cost of tuition and lost quality time with me, along with a year of extra parenting duties while I finished my degree was a huge sacrifice for him. Because getting my degree was important to me, Joe valued it as well. You can value your spouse’s goals, and when you have a goal that’s important to you, they’ll return the favor!
Related: Are Your Spouse’s Goals a Priority for You Too?
The goals that you set as a couple might be based on your shared values. Or just the fact that you care about the things that matter to each other. No matter what, it’s important to be on the same page. Sit down and hash out the details of what are both hoping to achieve. It might be your spouse’s goal, but there will always be something that you can do to help them achieve it. Whether you’ve set goals for the new year already or not, sit down and go through them again. Are you both fully on board? If not, find the reason why and find a way to get on the same page.
What things do you value most as a couple and how do those values affect the goals you set together?
Photography by Emily-Jane