When I start talking about making your marriage a priority, people’s minds generally jump to the big things. Date nights, overnight getaways, and big romantic gestures are all great. But making your marriage a priority is about the small things you do daily, more than those grand gestures. So what are those small things that make the biggest difference? This post includes lots of simple ways to make your spouse a priority! There are so many more things you can do, but I hoped these ideas would get you started.
Related: Why You Need to Make Your Spouse a Priority Every Day
How often are your kisses more than a peck? I notice that we’re often rushing to get somewhere or do something when we kiss. In our rush, we share a quick kiss and head off. Show your spouse that they are a priority by making your kiss last longer. Taking a few extra seconds to make your kiss mean more won’t make you too late for work. Try to kiss like you did when you were dating on a regular basis.
When my husband is heading out the door to work, I’m usually still in bed or getting ready for the day. And when he gets home, I’m cooking dinner and wrangling wild preschoolers. It doesn’t always seem convenient to stop what I’m doing and say a proper “hello” or “goodbye”. I don’t always think about it either, but I know it’s important. Put whatever you’re doing aside for just a few minutes and give your spouse a little attention.
Related: Get Your Spouse On-board with Prioritizing Your Marriage Too
One of my favorite things to do is to surprise my husband with something he loves. When I’m at the grocery store, I’ll grab his favorite treat or a new chip flavor I think he’d be interested in. If he’s having a long day at work, I drop off his favorite smoothie or a drink. Have a list in your head of your spouse’s favorite things and use it often!
One of the simplest ways to let your spouse know they’re a priority is to send them a text. Not a “business” text or a text about something funny the kids are doing. Send a text that lets them know you are thinking about them during the day! Acknowledge something you noticed they did to help you out. Tell them you miss them and note something you can’t wait to do when they’re home. Or send memory from the day before or that you were reminded of by something that happened.
Related: Why Your Kids Need You to Prioritize Your Marriage
One thing I notice in my own marriage is that I often have my phone in my hand when my husband is talking. I always feel like I’m listening, but I’m really only half hearing what is being said. If your spouse starts talking to you, even if it seems like a short and simple thing, remove all distractions. Turn away from the project you’re working on, put down your phone and give them your undivided attention. It seems so simple, but your spouse will notice and be very appreciative.
The next time your spouse mentions a project or a deadline or something that they have coming up, add it to your calendar. If you use a digital calendar, put all of those notes in a specific color. For paper planner people, use the same color of a pen for those notes or note them with a certain symbol. Then use those notes to show your spouse you care. Text them good luck before a test, or check in to see how their project turned out. Asking about specific things you know they have going on will mean more than a simple “how was your day?”
Related: Five Ways to Prioritize Your Marriage While A Part
When was the last time you thanked your spouse for the little things they do every day? A lot of times we can take those things our spouse does for granted because they’ve been doing them for our entire marriage. Pay attention to the things your spouse does to help you and thank them often.
Related: 20 Things to Thank Your Spouse for Daily
It doesn’t matter if your love language is words of affirmation or not, everyone appreciates a compliment. Make a point to compliment your spouse often. Tell them when you’re extra attracted to them, what you admire about them, and when they do something that you can’t help but be proud of. Make sure your spouse knows that you think the world of them!
Making your marriage a priority doesn’t have to be overwhelming. You don’t need to spend hours every day with your spouse for them to know they’re important. It’s really the small things that we do often that make the biggest difference in the end. If you’re only making big gestures every so often, your spouse is not feeling like a priority, I can almost guarantee that. Find the simple things that you can do each day to show your spouse you care.