September is fondly referred to as Sextember in the relationship and intimacy expert community. Each year we celebrate by encouraging couples to deepen the physical intimacy in their marriage. Resources, tips, challenges, and education abound during the month and this post is part of that. Below I’ve rounded up the posts I’ve created on the topic of sex and intimacy in marriage. I’ve also included my favorite resources such as books with more education and tools to spice things up in the bedroom.
When you think about intimacy in your marriage, remember that there’s more to it than what happens in the bedroom. The definition of intimacy has a lot more depth to it than what the media and the rest of the world might tell us there is. Increasing your emotional, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, financial, and physical intimacy will help to create a better, stronger, and more intimate marriage.
When you mention the word intimacy, most people automatically think of physical intimacy. But the definition of intimacy extends well beyond that. Dictionary.com has six different definitions associated with intimacy. And none of them say anything about a physical relationship. Intimacy in marriage goes well beyond the obvious physical act of intimacy.
There are a lot of things you can do to create better intimacy in your marriage. In fact, I wrote a post that includes 30 things you can do to increase intimacy in marriage. A lack of intimacy in your marriage doesn’t necessarily stem from your lack of physical connection. There is so much more to intimacy than just the physical connection you share with your spouse.
Sex and physical intimacy are important pieces of marriage but are often the hardest topics to discuss. When you become more comfortable discussing those intimate moments in your marriage, the moments become more intimate and enjoyable. These tools will help get the discussion started and improve the talk about physical intimacy in your marriage.
“How many times a week do you have sex?” I put an anonymous question box up on Instagram that question came through. Most married individuals are asking other married individuals for their number to see if they are normal or not. This post will give you tips to help you find that “normal” frequency of sexual encounters in your marriage.
Couples are often hesitant when it comes to scheduling sex in their marriage. I’m honestly an advocate for it! Don’t let intimacy fall to the bottom of your to-do list, put it at the top! I hope these questions, and the answers that I provide, will ease some of your discomfort on this topic and remove any hesitation.
In marriage, you realize that physical intimacy doesn’t happen spontaneously like you see portrayed in movies and TV shows. You have to make time for it, just like you make time for other things that are important. That doesn’t mean that you can create more opportunities for physical intimacy to happen more regularly and seemingly spontaneously. Implementing these seven tips will help you create more opportunities for physical intimacy in your marriage, no matter your current stage or situation in life.
I’ve had many couples reach out to me asking for tips to increase intimacy in their marriage when there are physical barriers present. Chronic pain or illness can seem to be a mood killer and make your sex life non-existent. But I knew that there were things couples could do to work around those obstacles! I reached out to my friend, Amanda Louder, who is a sex and intimacy coach, and asked her if she’d write a post for those of you in this situation. And she delivered some excellent advice!
I love the quote that says, “A great marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”. In that falling in love over and over, I always emphasize to couples that what worked to help them connect in one season of life might not be feasible or serve them the same way throughout their entire lives. Novelty and excitement on date night, connecting rituals, what you eat for dinner, etc. are good for your marriage. The same can be said about the physical intimacy in your marriage.
A seven-day action plan of small and simple things you can do to make a big difference in your relationship. Each day’s “prescription” is a challenge that requires no preparation on your part. Perfect for couples in any stage of life, looking to deepen the intimacy and connection they share.
Tony and Alisa are well known for their intimacy lifestyle and sex challenges. This book provides you with a fun game plan to help you revive the physical intimacy in your marriage. It will keep things interesting across the seven-day challenge and into the rest of your marriage.
Physical intimacy is one of the hardest topics to discuss, especially with your own partner. This book is filled with great perspective and information in addition to five conversations that every couple should have about their physical intimacy.
This might be one of the most well-known books about sex and intimacy, and for good reason. The research-based book talks about the most important thing to create a better sex life. The basics and beyond the basics, this book is everything you need!
Your room growing up may have been your escape and the place you most loved to be. Similarly, the bedroom you share with your spouse should feel the same way for your marriage. Have a room in your house that is comfortable and functional and a place for you to grow closer as a couple.
Being married to one person for the rest of your life doesn’t have to be redundant and routine when it comes to sex and intimacy. Couples are looking for resources to help them spice things up and address “problems” they might have. In this post, you’ll find five great podcasts about sex and intimacy, specifically for long-term romantic partnerships.
Using your phone and other technology while you’re spending quality time with your spouse isn’t the best idea. But what if I told you that there were ways to use your phone or device to connect more with your spouse? There are all kinds of marriage apps out there with a focus on strengthening the connection you share with your spouse. There are even more specific couples intimacy apps created with the goal of helping you improve the connection you share with your spouse in the bedroom.
The Adventure Challenge… In Bed was created with the help of a certified sex coach and is great for any couple looking to deepen their connection and relationship in the bedroom. It includes 50 scratch-off adventures for the bedroom, created to go beyond the physical side of intimacy. The goal of the …In Bed Edition is to help you deepen your mental, emotional, and physical connection while creating more memories as a couple. You will learn from each other, grow as a couple, and create a more satisfying and well-rounded relationship with each adventure you take on. Also, check out their …In Bed Conversation Cards and the newly released Quickies. Quickies are 30 unique, fun, and sexy challenges that can be done in 30 minutes or less.
When I titled this post “The best sexy subscription boxes for couples” I meant it. These are the subscription boxes that are going to give you the most bang for your buck. They’re going to give you exactly what you’re looking for when you look for a “sexy subscription box” and so much more.
Our friends at Get Your Marriage On and the Intimately Us App created this fun bedroom game. The game board is on a fitted bed sheet. Markers and ideas are included to help you fill in the board for play. And the game board is totally washable so you can play over and over again, with different results each time.
This is our personal favorite lubricant to use in the bedroom. Coconu is an organic lubricant and moisturizer. You can purchase water-based, oil-based, or hemp-infused body oil Coconu. Their products are coconut-based, clean, and beneficial for your body. They come in discreet 3 oz tubes or a box of 14 1.4 oz single packets. Use code APM15 for 15% off your Coconu purchase.
We haven’t personally used this brand, but it receives a lot of recommendations and is another clean product you can feel good using. The product is silicone-based, unscented, and safe for use with latex products. You can purchase a tube paired with a discreet case.
Lingerie doesn’t have to be just for the bedroom! Look for opportunities to wear it on a more regular basis not only for your spouse, but for yourself. I wanted to share a few ways you can get more wear out of your lingerie purchase.
When was the last time that you purchased new lingerie for yourself? I’ve had this conversation with other women maybe more often than a normal person would. There are a few wives who tell me that they’ve been shopping for and bought new lingerie within the last year. But the majority of the answers I receive are that the last time a wife got new lingerie was for their wedding and honeymoon. I want to encourage you to buy lingerie on a more regular basis, at least once a year.
Just as you update your wardrobe when styles change and things don’t fit the way you wish they did anymore, you should update your lingerie wardrobe as well!
When I started talking more about intimacy in marriage, I started getting questions about where to buy lingerie. Married women are looking for quality lingerie, size-inclusive lingerie, and lingerie that is available in a variety of styles and colors. I’ve put together a list of great places to order lingerie online, which I know can be daunting, but these companies have great customer service and the experiences that others have had are nothing but positive!
You’ve got the resources and the information, now go use them!