Every couple focuses on putting together a room, buying clothes, and packing the hospital bag in preparation for their new little one. My hope is that couples will start to work on strengthening their marriage as well. I thought I’d share a few of my favorite parenting books for couples. I hope they will help the two of you get started as you prepare for your baby.
Becoming parents is one of the biggest steps you’ll take in your life. Next to joining your life with someone else’s and getting married. Adjusting to your new roles as mom and dad can be scary, exciting, exhausting and so many other things at the same time. It’s one of the things that you’ll do together in your marriage that will challenge you the most.
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This parenting-focused book was written by the relationship expert himself, John M. Gottman, and his wife, Julie Schwartz Gottman. Becoming parents is exciting and a happy time, but it can also put a strain on your relationship. In their book, the Gottmans teach couples the skills they need to maintain a healthy marriage. If you were only going to read one book on your journey to parenthood, this would be my recommendation!
Related: Four Ways That Becoming Parents Can Strengthen Your Marriage
The creator of The 5 Love Languages put this book together to help couples as they transition into parenthood. Chapman helps couples create a solid framework in their marriage. And how to deal with common marriage issues that couples face after kids are in the picture. As parents, you’ll stumble on challenges that you’ve never thought to address before. Don’t let your new roles break your marriage.
I haven’t personally read this book, but I see it recommended on multiple parenting social media groups. It’s written by three women who have lived through becoming parents. And talked to a lot of other couples about the topic as well. They realized that as you prepare for a baby, you need to put up baby gates, cover the outlets AND safeguard your marriage. They share simple but effective ways you can stay connected as husband and wife and still be good parents.
Related: 5 Traditions to Keep Your Marriage Strong After Baby
Transitioning into parenthood can be rough on your relationship. And it only continues to bring obstacles to your marriage as your kids grow. This book takes a Christian-based approach to prepare your marriage as you become parents. It’s about remembering that even when you feel worn out, over-extended, and neglected, you promised to be a team.
This book seems to take a more comedic approach to buoy up your marriage. I loved what the description had to say about your preparation. “Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage – and the way their marriage will affect their child.” The author uses research and personal experience to create this fun to read book. It provides “an eye-opening look at how the man who got you into this position in this first place is the ally you didn’t know you had”.
Related: Six Ways to Prepare for a New Baby Together
While pursuing my degree in Family Studies, I read this book a lot! It was required reading for a class I took. And in the final semester of my program, I helped facilitate a class based on the book, as part of my internship. This is the holy grail of parenting books, in my personal opinion. It’s a great parenting book for couples to read as they work to get on the same page with their parenting tactics.
I think this is a great companion to the original Love and Logic book. It tackles the early years when you’re not sure how to apply the concepts discussed in the main book. The things taught are great for those early years of parenthood, from birth to around six years old. It’s been a great tool with our two young kids, as we’ve gained our footing in parenthood.
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This book was also required reading for my class on parenthood. And it’s one that I came to love, and need to read again. John Gottman, the relationship guru, and his colleague tackle a different side of parenting. Where the previous two books I mentioned focus a lot on discipline and the natural consequences of actions. This book focuses on the child’s emotions and coaching from a place of empathy and understanding. Combined with Love and Logic, you’ve got the powerhouse of parenting advice.
I saw this book recommended by a few parenting influencers that I follow and respect. It’s newer and written by a Ph.D. LCSW (licensed clinical social worker). She uses a four-step process to help parents return the joy of child-rearing to their lives. Definitely worth reading, in addition to the books I mentioned above.
Related: Why Your Kids Need You to Prioritize Your Marriage
Being a good parenting team is about more than being on the same page on how to handle your kids and the problems that might arise. You have to be a strong team as a couple as well. Your marriage is the foundation of your family. A strong foundation will create a strong family. Read all of the parenting books you can get your hands on. But make sure you’re including parenting books for couples on your list. The books in this post will help you to be the strong, well-rounded team that you want to be.