There are a lot of reasons couples give when talking about why they don’t have more time for their marriage. Work, school, kids, opposite schedules, the list goes on when it comes to obstacles that could get in the way of prioritizing a marriage. Regardless of the reason couples have for not making time to work on their relationship with each other, I personally believe there is one underlying reason that is the same for everyone. Married couples aren’t able to make their marriage a priority because they keep finding reasons not to instead of making a way to prioritize each other.
Related: Why Every Couple Should Make Their Marriage a Priority
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard couples say, “right now our focus is the kids, and our marriage will be our focus after they’re gone”. Or, “We just have to get through school and then we will have time to spend with each other again”. Insert any life obstacle and you get the idea. While your spouse as a person may still be there, and your legal union might still be intact, your relationship might not still be there after the kids are grown and gone or after you’ve graduated with your degree, or when you promote at work to the point of having a more flexible schedule. If you aren’t consciously making an effort to focus on your marriage throughout every stage of life, you’ll be empty nesters and retired with an empty marriage as well.
I can share all of my best advice and ideas, and give you suggestions specific to your unique circumstances. You can attend marriage conferences, read the best marriage books, and listen to every marriage and relationship podcast out there. You can even attend weekly therapy. But unless you are really taking the action to make your marriage a priority, none of those things will work.
Related: Simple Ways to Prioritize Your Marriage Daily
Making your marriage a priority isn’t about spending hours together every day. And it’s not about saying no to all of the other important things in your life. It’s about finding moments in your everyday chaos to focus on each other and your relationship. It’s letting your spouse know every single day that you love them, and you will continue to love them. That they’re always on your mind, and that their well-being and happiness are important to you.
When you’re making your schedule for the week, what is the first thing you account for? For a lot of couples, it’s work and maybe their own or their kids’ school schedule. We all have those “must-do” tasks that we all plan around, right? What if you added your marriage to those things and made it a non-negotiable on your schedule?!
Related: Prioritize Your Marriage in Simple Ways
Schedule at least two 30 minute time frames into your week to focus on your marriage relationship. Do the same thing two or three weeks in a row, then add a day and repeat. Your end goal should be to have a decent amount of time every day to focus on your spouse and your relationship. If you start small and continue to be intentional, you’ll get there!
What can you do to make time for your marriage this week?