Before we got married, Joe and I had a lot of talks about our finances. And all of the adult decisions we were going to have to make in our new life together. Making those financial decisions before we got married took a lot of stress out of the “adjusting” that every newlywed couple goes through. Planning a wedding is exciting and a lot of fun. But you shouldn’t forget to think about and discuss what “becoming one” means for your money. I know that money talk before your wedding can seem a little taboo. But it’s important and will set you up for long-term success!
I came up with a few money topics that I think made a big difference for us as we transitioned from being single and independent to getting married and becoming a team. There is obviously a lot more to be discussed before the big day. But these are a few of the things that I think cause the most stress or contention in your relationship if you aren’t on the same page from day one of your marriage, and even earlier if possible! Talk about your money before your wedding day, you won’t regret it.
Related: Five Conversations to Have Before You Get Married
Our bank accounts have been combined since we got back from our honeymoon, we didn’t waste any time. Marrying our finances was a no-brainer for us, and it didn’t even need to be discussed. Money is referred to as ‘ours’ rather than ‘yours’ and ‘mine’. We both have our own income, but the money all goes to the same place. This decision helps us avoid any argument about who is contributing more to the household and who should cover which expenses. We work better as a team and so do our paychecks!
Related: Why You Should Combine Your Finances with Your Spouse’s
From the time we started talking about getting married, we set a goal to pay off our cars and my husband’s business loan as soon as possible. I have never had to take out a student loan, and we decided together that we never will. And we never plan to carry a credit card balance. All of these decisions stem from our goal to remain debt free and never borrow money for something that we don’t need or can pay for on our own with a little budgeting. Make sure that you are on the same page regarding debt and loans.
Related: Viewing Debt as ‘Ours’ vs. ‘Mine’ and ‘Yours’ in Marriage
It’s such an adult thing to deal with, and it’s not really fun, but insurance is super important and very necessary! Confession: Until we signed the lease agreement for our first apartment and were told to send in proof of renter’s insurance, that wasn’t something I’d even thought about. We were able to save a lot of money by combining our auto policies when we got married. As soon as we purchased a house and started having kids we invested in life insurance. Insurance can be confusing and stressful, but it’s really important to have.
Related: 5 People Who Should Have Life Insurance in Their 20’s
Some couples check in with each other for every dollar they spend. And others don’t care how much money is spent or on what. If both of you aren’t on the same page with this issue, it can become a very sore spot in your relationship. I’m the spender in our relationship. And even though my envelope for spending money is always empty and Joe’s has become a mini savings account. I never feel guilty and he’s never annoyed because that money was set aside for me to use however I want.
Related: Why You Need to be a Team with Your Finances, Always!
Every couple is different, and what works for us might not work for every single person out there. Talk to your significant other and decide what goals you have for your money. Then use those goals to find what will work best for your marriage and your lifestyle. Don’t be scared to talk about money before your wedding day. Finances are one of the biggest causes of contention. The more you talk, the more you’ll be on the same page and the fewer disagreements you’ll have.
What decisions did you and your spouse make that have helped or will help your marriage?
