One of my favorite things that we started doing a few years ago is our weekly marriage check. We conduct our check-ins via our marriage meeting. We keep our meetings pretty informal. They often happen in the car on our way home from visiting family each week. But those weekly check-ins with each other have been key to helping our home and our relationship run more smoothly.
Click here to read my post about how to create a successful routine of marriage meetings in your relationship. You’ll get a better idea of what our meetings look like and how to start having your own.
Some couples have their marriage check-in as a mini meeting at the end of each day. And a few times a year, or once a month, we’ll pair ours with a companionship inventory or state of our marriage discussion. In various seasons of our marriage, we’ve found these meetings to be more crucial than in others. For example, when we were in the hospital with our NICU baby. During that time, it was important for us to be on the same page. And more aware of what was going on with each other and our kids.
In our current stage of life, every family member is doing school in some form, and school doesn’t look like it normally might. We’ve realized how important it is to be talking about the logistical side of our marriage regularly. We need to be aware of what each of our school schedules and homework loads looks like. And we have to work together to help the kids get their at-home school work done, and that requires teamwork.
No matter what stage of life you are in, make time to meet together to discuss the business side of your marriage at least once a week. During your weekly marriage check-in, you might want to follow a marriage meeting agenda of sorts. Below I’ve outlined some great weekly marriage check-in questions. You can tailor these to fit your situation and stage in life. I hope these will help you to stay on the same page and build a stronger relationship with one another.
Schedules and calendars are probably the first things that are discussed in weekly marriage check-ins and family meetings. It’s important to make sure everyone is on the same page with the schedule. And that there is no overlap so you can be there for each other when you need to be. This might look like sharing what appointments you have during the week that will affect the time you would normally spend together. Or maybe it means letting your spouse know about important meetings, tests, and appointments you have. And ask them to check in with you about those or be there to support you beforehand.
I always have my planner with me during our weekly marriage meetings. And my husband will usually pull his calendar up on his phone. I’ll also add things to my online calendar, even though I don’t use it much personally, so he can quickly glance at it and be reminded of what’s going on for me, the kids, or our family. We used to have a whiteboard calendar hanging in the main area of our home that we’d update as well. Do what works for your family and what will keep you on the same page as a couple.
Related: Respecting Each Other in Marriage
I always love when my friend Brittany from Pennies Into Pearls shares about the budget meetings in her marriage. Adding a short budget conversation to your weekly marriage check-in can help you stay on track with your budget. Look at what has been spent over the past week, how much money you have left for the month and what purchases you’ll be making in the coming week. Making those small tweaks each week can help you avoid getting too off track. And those smaller-scale discussions can help you avoid huge disagreements about your finances as well.
Related: 5 Questions to Improve the Money Conversations in Your Marriage
Do you and your spouse set goals together? We set goals for things that we want to accomplish as a couple. These could be house projects, trips we want to go on, or things we want to learn. But we also set goals that are focused on creating a stronger marriage. These look like regular date nights, setting aside time to talk each day, and even following through with our weekly meetings as a couple.
When you sit down for your weekly marriage check-in, reviewing the goals you’ve set together will help keep you on track. I don’t know about you, but I often set goals with great intention to follow through. But after a few weeks or months, I have forgotten about them. Having goals on your marriage meeting agenda will help you remember to review them each week. You could even set weekly marriage goals that will help you achieve those big goals. Or just help the two of you work on something you’re struggling with.
Related: The Importance of Setting Goals in your Marriage
Put date night on the calendar! Add your date night to the schedule and follow through with your plans each week. Whether you are hiring a babysitter and going out or setting something up at home after the kids are in bed. We like to talk about what our plans are for the week. And determine what each of us needs to do to make sure we have a successful date night. It helps to get us on the same page and make sure nothing is scheduled over the top of date night. And it will give the two of you something to look forward to as well!
Related: Setting Date Night Guidelines and Rules in Your Marriage
One thing that I always love to add to our weekly meetings as a couple is to share something our spouse did that made us feel loved in the previous week. It could be as simple as cleaning up after dinner and getting the kids to bed when he knew I was stressed. Or planning a fun date night that allowed us to connect. Knowing that we’re going to be sharing these things in our weekly marriage check-in makes me more aware throughout the week. It keeps me grateful and focusing on the positive in my marriage.
I’ve also heard of couples who share this with each other at the end of each day. They have a mini marriage check-in and share something their spouse did for them that they are grateful for or that made them feel loved. And then they let each other know something that is on the agenda the next day that they could use support on or help with. You could also share something your spouse could do to help you feel more loved in the coming week.
Related: Secrets of Using the Love Languages in Your Marriage
Similar to sharing something that you need help with or would appreciate and feel loved by, share your expectations. Sometimes you won’t know what these look like until you get to a situation and your expectations aren’t met. But the more you communicate those expectations, and are aware of the ways they are/aren’t being met, the more you’ll know what to communicate ahead of time.
Related: How to Best Communicate Expectations in Your Marriage
Related: Creating a Tradition of Weekly Meetings in Your Home
I hope these ideas will help you create the perfect marriage meeting agenda for your relationship. Your weekly marriage check-in doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. You and your spouse should do what works for you and your marriage. It might take a bit of experimenting and trial and error to find your perfect marriage meeting plan. Once you know what you personally need to discuss, you can create your set list of weekly marriage check-in questions. And then adjust and discuss those as needed in your various seasons of marriage!