I like to find meaningful and useful gifts when I go to weddings. Kitchen gadgets, towels, and house tools are all great! But I love to pair them with a date night idea. Or a couple of my favorite marriage books. If I could, I’d bundle all of these books together and gift them to every couple I knew getting married. But I’m not that rich, so instead, I pick just a few of my favorites.
Related: Starting a Book Club in Your Marriage
This is one of the most popular marriage books, for good reason. It’s written by one of the leading relationship experts, John Gottman. He takes his over 40 years of research and puts together seven things every couple can do to make their marriage work. It’s perfect for couples who are just getting married or have been married for any number of years. In this book, he discusses concepts like Love Maps and Bids for Connection.
Like the Seven Principles, this book was written by John Gottman and his wife Julie. It dives deeper into common struggles that couples face in their marriage and how to overcome them. I haven’t read this one yet, it’s on my dresser just waiting for me to pick it up. However, you can never go wrong with anything by the Gottmans. They have years and years of research and know from that research and their own personal experiences, what it takes to make a good marriage
One of Gottman’s newest books, and maybe the one I love the most! I heard John and Julie talk about the process of creating this book, and it made me love them and their book even more. They’ve put together dates surrounding a specific topic of conversation. And then they provide you with all of the questions you need to ask to deepen your relationship in that area. After the book was written, they sent couples out on these dates with a tape recorder, and over those hundreds of dates, they tweaked the content until it was perfect! This is a great date night companion for every couple!
If I had to pick a favorite marriage book, The Five Love Languages would probably be it. I took the quiz years ago. But I never read the book until it was required for one of the classes I took for my major the semester after we got married. I’ve read it every year since and each time I read it, I take the test again.
I suggest pairing the book with The 5 Love Languages for Men. It’s a great companion and speaks more to the male perspective. Click here for even more great love languages resources, including a daily devotional and a fun coloring book.
Click here for more tips on The 5 Love Languages
This is a book that I started one summer and never finished. But I recently picked up again. It is so good and was a real eye-opener to me. There are a lot of different ways that boundaries can help your marriage, some that I wasn’t expecting. This book is a great one for couples who are preparing for marriage. But it can make a difference for couples in every stage of their marriage. Click here to read my full review and thoughts on the book.
Related: It’s Ok to Say No for the Sake of Your Marriage
This book is based on the popular StrengthsFinder assessment that many people are familiar with. A marriage expert and a strengths expert teamed up to show readers how to have a happier, stronger marriage by applying the concepts from the StrengthsFinder assessment to their relationship. This would be best paired with StrengthsFinder 2.0 so you can take the assessment and dive even deeper into your strengths.
If you’re familiar with The Miracle Morning, you’ll love this companion for romantic relationships! You’ll learn six different things you can do daily to create an incredible relationship. I can’t personally attest to this book, but I’ve heard great things about it. And it’s currently sitting in my cart waiting for me to purchase and put it to use!
For a lot of couples, as soon as the knot is tied, date night drops down on the list of things to do, and in some cases, stops altogether. No matter what your stage in life, there will always be something keeping you from spending as much time together as you would like. Make time for date night in your marriage because if you don’t, you will begin to drift apart and one day you might wake up to find that you are roommates rather than lovers.
This book will provide you with resources and ideas that will help the two of you make date night more of a priority in your marriage. With more than 100 pages of content and over 300 date night ideas, you and your spouse are sure to find a way to make date night happen on a regular basis, no matter your current stage of life. This is one of my personal favorite marriage books, but I could be a bit biased since I wrote it.
The authors of this book, Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo, are the voices behind one of my favorite podcasts, One Extraordinary Marriage. They share my same passion for helping couples make their marriage a priority. The main focus of their content is intimacy and they share their intimacy lifestyle as a way to increase your connection in marriage. They boast their 30 and even 60 days of sex challenge and share how those things have changed their marriage. But this book is a great place to start!
I love, love, LOVE this book! I’m a big fan of traditions and rituals and believe that they help couples and families connect. Rituals add meaning to regular routines and give you something to look forward to. This book has ideas for making any moment special, both simple and extravagant. The important thing to remember is that every ritual and every tradition should have a purpose in your family. Don’t adopt one just because it sounds fun or because your neighbor does it. Make each tradition meaningful, whether it solves a problem (ie bedtime rituals), carries on the family legacy (ie making your grandma’s cookies for Christmas every year), or creates moments for you to bond (ie going on a walk every night after dinner).
This is our personal favorite finance book, even though it’s not technically a marriage book. There are a lot of other great ones out there specifically for married couples if you look. I think every couple should have a guide to prompt them to have all of the important financial discussions. And to keep the line of communication open when it comes to money. We listened to this on our drive back from Disneyland early on in our marriage. We loved the motivation that we had to conquer our financial challenges and make our goals a reality after reading this book.
Tip: I also suggest reading this post with the best conversation starter resources for married couples. It includes more great books for married couples to enjoy together.
Any time I get asked for marriage book recommendations, this is the list that I send people. I will continue to recommend every one of these books to couples that I cross paths with. They have made a difference in my marriage. And I know that they’ll make a difference in other marriage relationships as well!
I’d love to hear what some of your favorite marriage books are. Are there any that you’d add to this list or any that have been gifted to you?