A few months ago I was watching an Instagram live that a couple of my date night/marriage friends were hosting. One of the other people viewing the live asked a question that I’ve been thinking about since that night. They mentioned that some weeks/nights they aren’t feeling physically or mentally energized and in a date night mood. Then they asked what some ideas for low-key, low-energy, low-mental output date nights might be. I’ve had a lot of low energy date ideas running through my head ever since!
Whether you don’t have the energy or the mental capacity to go out for date night or do something that requires much from you, you’ll love these date ideas! This is a reminder that date night doesn’t have any requirements for how long it takes, how much energy you put into it, or what types of activities you do. The formula for an impactful date night is quality time + connection + fun. All of these ideas will give you that. And when you’re feeling up to it, you can plan something more extravagant!
For more date night ideas like these ones, check out the book, Prioritizing Date Night in Your Marriage, with 300+ date night ideas.
Hold hands while you take a walk around the block or find a local nature trail to enjoy together. Walk at whatever speed you are comfortable with and for any length of time. Sometimes just a walk around the block is enough to perk you up and give you time to connect.
Hop in the car for a quick drive to nowhere. Listen to your favorite music or this date night playlist while you drive. Roll the windows down or open the sunroof if the weather is good. Drive around and discover new things where you live. Or pick a neighborhood you might want to live in in the future and explore it. I used to have a scenic route I would drive, any time of year when I needed time to be by myself and think. Find a route like that for the two of you to enjoy together when you need a low-energy date.
Coffee, tea, hot chocolate, soda, or any other drink you love. Find a cafe, bar, or somewhere else that serves drinks you love and take your date night there. Sip your drinks slowly while you talk, people watch and just enjoy being together.
Game nights can be high energy and fast moving, but they can also be chill if you want them to be. Pick a game you don’t have to think much about. Grab a snack, play the game, and connect while you play. We love Pass the Pigs or Play Nine for this type of date.
Sit down on the couch, grab your coziest blanket, cuddle, and talk. Share stories from your week, memes, or videos you’ve found, or use one of these conversation starters. You could take turns giving each other a foot or hand massage while you talk. Don’t feel the need to keep a conversation going if the silence feels comfortable.
You might have noticed that listening to music is mentioned a few times in this post. Fun fact, I originally went into the field of Family Studies to become a Music Therapist. I believe that music has the power to heal, energize, and soothe. Check out this Music Library Date for a few fun ways you can enjoy this date. Or pull up your favorite app and simply listen. Talk about the songs, why you love them or don’t enjoy them, and what they mean to you.
One of our favorite things to do at the end of a long week is to catch up on any shows we’ve been watching together. It might be an episode of a show we’ve seen a million times (ie The Office or Psych), one that’s releasing new episodes weekly (ie Wanda Vision or Lego Masters), or something that has been recommended to us to check out. Check out this post for a list of shows you’ll enjoy winding down with together.
I grew up as a bookworm and still love books, although I never find/make time to read them like I want to. A while back I shared this fun date idea for creating a book club in your marriage. Whether you read a physical copy of a book or listen to an audiobook, you can make it a date. Read side by side and discuss, take turns reading a chapter, or listen while you cuddle and enjoy a snack. You don’t even have to be reading together. Maybe you just need to sit together and read your own book for a bit, then share what you’ve read.
Podcasts are really popular right now. Find a podcast or two that you both enjoy and listen to new episodes together. We’ve listened to podcasts about shows we love, true crime, a random hobby, something we want to learn, or one that shares fun stories. Browse your favorite podcast app for suggestions or ask for recommendations from friends and family who share similar interests.
Decide on a sweet or savory treat that sounds good to you both, pick it up or make it, and enjoy it together. We love chips and dip, fresh cookies, shakes, or really fries. One of the hot spots for hanging out and date night in our hometown was always Dairy Queen. We’d often go sit and eat fries with fry sauce, sometimes with a sundae or Blizzard, and sometimes without.
I know that there are a lot of reasons couples don’t feel like they are able to make date night happen as often as they’d like. Lack of energy is one of those. My hope is that you’ll put these ideas in your tool kit for those times when energy is your date night obstacle. If you want to make date night happen and make time to connect and have fun together, you can do it, it just might take a little bit of creativity!
