The last week of our lives has been pure chaos, as I’m sure yours has as well. Everything is closing and being canceled, left and right. Each of our routines has been thrown out the window. I’m betting that you’ve probably spent a lot more than planned on groceries and activities for your kids this month. What have you done to help your family survive the social distancing and business closures?
Everyone has been focused on making sure we are prepared for a few weeks at home. Food storage is stocked up with quick meals and good snacks. We have extra activities to keep the kids occupied. And a lot of us have made sure there’s enough chocolate in the house to keep us sane. Have you thought about how all of this chaos is affecting your spouse? Have you planned how you’ll make your marriage a priority while your routine is out of whack?
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We all need support in our lives. And when things are crazy around us and our normal isn’t normal anymore, we need that support more than ever. With the chaos and uncertainty in the world, make sure your spouse feels supported and safe. Keep their needs and well-being at the forefront of your mind the next few weeks.
After talking with friends, coworkers and family this week, I know there are a wide range of emotions surrounding what’s been going on in the world. Some people are feeling anxious about the uncertainty and constant changes. Other people are irritated by the panic and how blown out of proportion things seem to be. Do you know how your spouse is feeling about everything?
Sit down today and have a conversation about things. Dig into your feelings and why things are affecting you the way they are. Knowing how your spouse is feeling will help you to support them better. How is everything affecting their mental health? Is there something that your spouse is struggling with more than anything else? Check-in with each other every day to get caught up on how those feelings are shifting as things around you change.
Every single person in the world is experiencing big shifts in their routine due to the things going on around us. Some people are out of work, working from home or even working more than usual. Other people don’t feel safe leaving home and are very socially removed. Do you know how your spouse has been personally affected by the changes? You might have an idea, but until you ask them, you won’t know for sure. Knowing how the constant changes are affecting your spouse’s day to day will help you know how to support them better.
We all need help getting through the next two weeks of social distancing without getting cabin fever and feeling lonely. Our individual routines are completely different and we’re completely removed from “life as normal”. Do you know how you can help your spouse manage over the next couple of weeks? Have you communicated your needs and expectations?
Some individuals are going to need extra help with the kids at the end of the day, so they can take some time to decompress. While others will need to be left alone, even though they are home, because they’re still trying to get work done. Think about your situation and ask your spouse to think about theirs so you can communicate your needs. Make sure to reevaluate those needs as you start into the week and are living your new routine and get to see how things work.
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Don’t get so sucked into the panic and chaos that you forget about the most important relationships in your life. Your family, your kids, and your spouse need you to be there, connecting and helping them stay calm through everything. As our routines are thrown off, we need to be more intentional about focusing on the things that matter. Below are a few ways you can focus on building your relationship with your spouse.
Social distancing means avoiding going out to public places, including restaurants and movie theaters and other fun activities. And it’s harder to get a babysitter to watch your kids, even if you wanted to go out and stay outdoors for date night. This means a lot of couples will be canceling date nights. You don’t have to cancel date night, just relocate it to your house! I have great resources to help you make date night at home fun and creative and perfect for your relationship.
Last week I posted a video on IGTV sharing answers to your questions about how to make date night happen at home. Are the kids involved? How can you make those nights different from a typical night at home? What if your kids are older and there isn’t time “after the kids are in bed” to enjoy a date night? Click here to watch the mini training on at-home date nights. And you can click here for all of my at home date night ideas.
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In every stage of life, your marriage needs you to take time to connect on a daily basis. Especially when life is hard and things are uncertain, you need to make sure you’re staying connected as a couple. I say that these things will help your marriage survive these uncertain times, and you might think it’s a little dramatic, but it starts with the small things. You can make small steps to bring you closer as a couple. Or you can brush those small things aside and not do them, and wake up one day in a few weeks or months or years and realize you’ve drifted really far apart. This tip will never be one I don’t share.
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We’ve started seeing posts from some of the countries who are already weeks into their social distancing and some even full on quarantines. And while those individuals have noted that there are hard things about the situation, they’ve also shared a lot of good. One of the common themes we’ve seen is that family relationships have never been better. Take advantage of canceled activities and not being able to go out to enjoy your time at home with the ones you love most. Plan some fun activities and get to know each other better. Cherish the extra time you’re getting with your loved ones.
One thing I love is having extra time to get some of my projects done. My to-do list seems never-ending and crossing things off of it gives me a strange satisfaction. Talk about one big to-do list item or a few small ones, that you’ve been putting off and add them to your calendar for the next few weeks.
Life might seem scary and tomorrow might seem unknown. Every season of life is going to bring changes and new routines and a lot of differences. If you and your spouse can work through the next few weeks of your life together, you’ll be prepared to work through other difficult phases of life. And if you are more intentional and thinking about those around you, particularly your spouse, you’ll survive this coronavirus outbreak. And you’ll come out the other side of this challenge a better team with a stronger relationship.
