The beginning of a new year is the time when a lot of people set goals. In addition to setting personal goals, I recommend setting goals in your marriage. There are many benefits to setting goals for your marriage and as a couple. Having a common goal to work towards strengthens the two of you and a partnership and a team. Achieving those common goals as a couple will help you work better together and will bring you closer together. I hope this post will help you set goals for your marriage to help you work toward the life you’re trying to build together.
This resource is one of my favorites for setting goals as a couple. It will help guide you as you are setting goals for the new year. And it will help you determine opportunities for growth in your marriage. You can purchase the guide and reprint/download it each year to use again. Click here to purchase the Marriage & Family Goals Printable Guide.
Setting goals together is such an important piece of being married. Without goals, how are you building towards the future you envisioned when you decided to pursue a life together? Setting goals as a couple will ensure you are on the same page. Shared goals give you something to work towards as a team. As you work together towards a shared goal knowing that you’re on the same page, you have the opportunity to grow together. Growing together instead of apart makes you a stronger couple and makes your marriage a priority for another year.
Read: The Importance of Setting Goals in Your Marriage
My biggest tip when setting goals as a couple is to communicate. When you are communicating, listening and hearing each other is almost more important than sharing your thoughts. Be open to hearing what each other has to say and where you each see opportunities for growth and pain points in your relationship.
Sit down together where and when you can have uninterrupted time to talk and plan. Discuss any successes and challenges you experienced as a couple in the previous year, specifically when it comes to goals you might have had. Share where each of you would like to see your marriage and your individual selves at the end of the next year. Share the weak spots that you each see in your marriage. Then decide together what you need to do individually and together to help you reach the vision you see for yourselves and your relationship. Set quarterly goals, break them down into months, and break them down into weeks. Get to work and check in during your marriage meetings each week to stay on track.
Remember that you are a team and you both have the same ultimate goal, to have a good, enjoyable, and healthy marriage.
Read: How to Set Successful Goals for Your Marriage in the New Year
There are four different general categories that I would encourage goals to set their goals around. I recommend that couples set at least one goal for each of these.
Goals you might set to accomplish something together in the coming year could include paying off debt, saving up and making a big purchase (ie car, furniture, house), or crossing a project off your list. These goals feel responsible but achieving them feels extra rewarding.
These types of goals tend to feel more fun to work towards and complete. Regular date nights, creating a date night bucket list, planning a vacation or romantic getaway, finding and developing hobbies together, or learning how to do something new can all be goals in this category. These goals will help increase the fun side of your marriage and your recreational intimacy.
The personal goals you each set might not have any impact on your relationship with each other. Being in a marriage gives you a built-in support system, teammate, and cheerleader. Letting each other in on your goals and dreams allows you to help each other succeed, even if it’s just checking in, holding you accountable, or cheering you on. Share the goals you’ve set and let your spouse know what they can do to help you accomplish them.
When you’re setting goals as a couple, I’m going to encourage you to set one, or a few, to help make your marriage stronger throughout the coming year. Maybe your marriage needs more consistent or intentional date nights. Or you might need to get the fun side of your marriage back. You could set a goal to listen to relationship podcasts together and implement what you learn each week or participate in some sort of marriage education. Identify what your marriage needs and work together to make it better each day!
Read: Why Your Spouse’s Goals Should Be Your Own
Unfortunately, there will be some spouses who aren’t interested in setting goals for one reason or another. Don’t let that deter you from setting your own goals, as a spouse, to do what you can to make your marriage better. Go through this post and the others linked within it and put effort into your marriage in the coming year.
You could also casually ask your spouse what fun things they want to do this year as a couple. Ask them where they think your marriage could improve and what they want to work on accomplishing as a couple. Then find out what goals they have for themselves personally. Create a conversation around their answers and make plans with them and notes for yourself so you can hold your team accountable. Your spouse may come around to the idea of goal setting. Or they may be willing to casually set goals when they see the change it makes.
Read: 15 Goal Ideas for Your Marriage
What goals will you set for your marriage this year?