A few years ago, I shared on social media that Joe and I had put together a “five-year plan” and set goals for our marriage. We set those goals in celebration of our five-year anniversary. I was surprised by how many comments I got in response, from people who had never thought about setting marriage goals! I want to encourage you to start setting goals in your marriage.
I’ve thought a lot about this apparent lack of goal setting in marriage. I’ve become more and more certain that setting goals as a couple happens in most marriages, but maybe not officially. My goal today is to inspire you to sit down and intentionally set some marriage goals together. I also hope to provide you with a few tools you can use to set the kind of goals that will help you find success in the coming year.
Related: How to Set Goals for Your Marriage in the New Year
2020 is going to be a big year as far as our goals are concerned. Rehabilitating our first house and having two kids have used up a lot of our time and resources over the last few years. We’ve done a lot of great things but we’re ready to do even more! Our goals in the coming year center around strengthening our marriage relationship and spending more time together as a family. We also want to work on finishing little house projects that have been left incomplete. Our biggest goal is to become more financially stable.
We use the goal formula mentioned in the video above! S.M.A.R.T. goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-based. Setting goals using this formula will aid in your success. First, the two of you need to determine where you want your marriage and your lives to be at the end of the year. Set the big goals that you want to reach and then break those goals down. Set smaller goals that you need to achieve each day, week, and month to get you the result you want. Most importantly, make sure that you are both on the same page with your goals.
Related: The Secret to Successful Goal Setting as a Couple
Here are a couple of example goals to get you started. All of these are based on goals that we’ve set and achieved in the almost nine years that we have been married. I have used the SMART goal formula to put these goals together.
Our financial goal is to have all of our debt paid off by the end of the year. Our debt currently sits at about $15,000. We will pay off at least $1,000 of that debt each month. We will use our tax return and year-end bonus’ to pay off the remainder of the debt.
This is a goal that we achieved in 2012. Although my numbers may be off, this was roughly our timeline and roughly our plan. I was in school spring, summer, and fall semesters this year. And Joe was working to build his lawn care business. To find the $1,000 we needed to put toward our debt each month, we set smaller goals to stick to a monthly budget, eat out less, limit our frivolous spending, etc.
Our marriage goal is to have a date night once a week. We will hire a babysitter for one week each month, plan two date nights at home after the kids are in bed or during nap time, and go on one family date.
This is a goal that we set a couple of years ago and didn’t completely succeed. so we are setting a similar goal again this year. But we are making this a goal this year, with two dates out of the house and the rest at home. I use date night ideas from here on the blog as well as the 300+ ideas found in my date night book. Both of these resources help plan our at-home dates. And they make them a little bit different than our usual takeout and a movie.
Our marriage goal is to spend at least 20 minutes connecting with each other daily. We will do this by putting our phones away after 9:30 p.m. each night, making three nights “TV free” and saying no to being away from home more than one night a week.
This is a goal that we set a couple of years ago and could probably stand to set again. Our schedules keep us busy and it’s easy to let life take control and realize later that we haven’t had a moment to connect as a couple. This became especially important when Joe had to work crazy hours. I craved that extra time we got to ourselves each day.
Related: 10 Ways to Connect with Your Spouse in 10 Minutes or Less
The Dating Divas have put together an amazing printable pack to help you set goals for the entire year! Their Ultimate Goal Setting Printable Pack is based on setting S.M.A.R.T goals and provides everything you need to record those goals. We used the pack this weekend to set our goals for the year and break those down into smaller, attainable short-term goals that we can work toward each day, week, or month. For less than $5, you can grab your printable pack and set goals that will better your marriage and your family this year! Click here to grab yours. Goal setting is the first step to a stronger marriage, a happier home, and a better you.
We also used the Powersheets Companion Goal Guide for Couples from Cultivate What Matters and Powersheets. You can grab yours here!
Check out this Couples Contract Worksheet to help you navigate challenges and create a stronger foundation in your marriage. It covers topics like your values, boundaries you want to set, fears you have, and how to work through them.
Related: Create Your Own Marriage Resolution – The Dating Divas
As you head into the new year, I hope you’ll sit down and set a few goals together as husband and wife. And as you discuss the things that you want to achieve, look at the goals that you each set individually. Consider ways that you can work together to make each other’s dreams come true this year. You can accomplish great things as a team! And with your spouse by your side, you can achieve amazing things on your own as well.
Related: Are Your Spouse’s Endeavors a Priority for You Too?
I’d love to hear what goals you are setting in the coming year! Whether it’s for yourself or for your marriage! What are you going to accomplish this year?
