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What’s Lacking in the Dictionary Definition of “Spouse”

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I looked up the definition of spouse the other day and felt a little underwhelmed with how the dictionary defined it. "A husband or wife, considered in relation to their partner." To me, a spouse is so much more than that...

I looked up the definition of spouse the other day. And I felt a little underwhelmed with how the dictionary defined it. “A husband or wife, considered in relation to their partner.” To me, a spouse is so much more than that…

My spouse is my partner.

We do things together. We’re in life together, we parent together, we manage our money together and we make decisions together.

My spouse is my confidant.

Having someone that I can confide in about anything is comforting in a way. I love knowing that no matter what we share with each other, we still love each other. And that we will help one another work through things that come up.

My spouse is my helpmate.

Helpmate is defined as “a helpful companion”. Helping each other looks like sharing the housework load, parenting responsibilities and other tasks that come with being married adults. Sometimes it means one of us takes on a heavier load. While the other focus’ on something else that we have going on. But in the end, we are both a helpmate to each other.

My spouse is my best friend.

Sure, I have best friends outside of my marriage. But nobody knows me on as deep of a level as my husband. He sees me at my worst and my best, he knows my every quirk and my hidden talents. At the end of the day, I look forward to spending time with him the most.

My spouse is my safe place. 

My husband makes me feel safe to be myself, to take risks, to dream big and to feel deeply. He’s the person I turn to for comfort when I’m sad or upset. He’s the person I can let my full personality shine around.

My spouse is my home.

When I was living at home after cosmetology school, I thought it was going to be hard to move out when I finally did. Because I’d created a home in my bedroom and my favorite spaces around my parent’s house. But when I got, my definition of home changed. We’ve made every space that we’ve lived in together our home. I’ve learned that home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling and I have that feeling wherever I’m with him.

My spouse is my match.

One of the synonyms I found for spouse was mate. And one of the definitions for mate is “one of a matched pair”. I thought this definition was perfect. Our strengths, weaknesses and talents compliment each other and help us to become a good team

I really liked the definition I found for companion and felt like it fit with my vision of a spouse a bit better. “Companion – a person who shares the experiences of another, especially when these are unpleasant or unwelcome.” There are a lot of people in the world who are willing to share in our joys and celebrate our successes; a spouse is one of those. But when you are deep in the hard times of life, your spouse is the one who will be there to hold your hand and help you through. They are the one who will struggle with you, grow with you and be there by your side no matter what comes your way. Marriage is more than a piece of paper and a spouse is more than someone to share your bed with.

Related: You’ll Never Be Able to Find Time for Your Marriage

What does being a spouse mean to you?