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A Prioritized Marriage contains affiliate links. This means that I make a small commission off of purchases made through links at no extra cost to you. Links are provided for your convenience.
I mentioned on Instagram the other day that I had a goal to be more intentional with our date night routine in 2021. Last year brought a lot of things our way. And as hard as I tried, intentional date nights seemed to slip out of our reach most weeks, for a variety of reasons. My goal this year is to set us up for a more connective date night routine. With my husband and I both in school, and doing homework almost every night, date night will be one of the few times we’ll have to connect. We have to make every moment that we have together count. This is my plan to help us do that with date night.
How We’re Being More Intentional with our Date Night Routine in 2021
![date night routine](https://i0.wp.com/aprioritizedmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/A-PRIORITIZED-MARRIAGE-Sadie_Banks_Photography-179_websize.jpg?resize=720%2C481&ssl=1)
Our plans for date night out in 2021
We have a goal this year to go on one or two date nights outside the house, without the kids, each month. I recognize that this plan could go quickly down the toilet, depending on how things go and how restrictions change. One of my goals, when we go out for date night, is to add a little bit of adventure and novelty to our time together. That might be as simple as trying out a new restaurant when we’re out for dinner and a movie. Or maybe we’ll be doing something completely new to us altogether.
Date night bucket list
For about half of our marriage now, we’ve created a date night bucket list at the beginning of each year. Our date night bucket lists draw on activities we’ve been talking about doing, new restaurants in the area, etc. They’re a way for us to add more excitement to our date nights throughout the year. The date night bucket list also helps us stop talking about the things we’ve been wanting to do and finally do them. I’m excited about the date night bucket list we put together for 2021! And we’ve already been putting things from the list on our calendar to do.
![date night bucket list](https://i0.wp.com/aprioritizedmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/20210112_142610-edited-scaled.jpg?resize=720%2C540&ssl=1)
The Average Daters coupon book
Our friends McCall and Collin put together a date night coupon book for Northern Utah this year. We’re planning to use it as much as we can for our date nights out! A lot of the coupons are for places in other counties, which is going to encourage us to branch out and try new things, a little further from home.
![date night ideas](https://i0.wp.com/aprioritizedmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/20210105_102502.jpg?resize=720%2C540&ssl=1)
Our plans for date night at home in 2021
At home date nights are where we’re trying to be the most intentional. With work, two busy kids, and school, we often find ourselves exhausted and not excited to follow through with whatever date night activities we had planned. I know that the reality is, that our original plans might get pushed aside for something more relaxing. My hope is that by having plans in place, that will happen less often.
Fancy at-home dinner dates
I’m really excited to start this new, monthly at-home date night tradition. One weekend each month will be set aside for this date night activity. We’ll pull out our nice dishes, tablecloth, candles, and fancy glasses. The lights will be dimmed and we’ll turn on our date night playlist. Most months we’ll cook a meal from the Date Night In cookbook to enjoy together. Some months we might order takeout and eat it off the fancy dishes. It will be like a romantic dinner out, but without the masks and the other people around us.
Related: Other Date Night Cookbooks for Couples
![creative date ideas](https://i0.wp.com/aprioritizedmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/A-PRIORITIZED-MARRIAGE-sadiebanksphotography-91_websize.jpg?resize=720%2C481&ssl=1)
Date night subscription boxes
We also plan on using the occasional date night subscription box. I personally enjoy them, and I’m having fun using various companies and sharing about them in my date night box review series. I love that, especially while I’m in school, working and managing our household, there’s one thing that I don’t have to think about, beyond ordering the box. When date night rolls around, we just have to pull out the box and follow the instructions for a fun and connecting night together.
![at home date night ideas for couples](https://i0.wp.com/aprioritizedmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/20200926_184913-1.jpg?w=720&ssl=1)
Other resources we’re using for date nights in 2021
The remaining resources in this post will be used for both date night out and date night at home. And maybe a few mini-dates in the middle of the week. I’m really excited to use each of these things to up our date night game in the coming year.
Prioritizing Date Night in Your Marriage
Yes, I do very much use my own book to plan date night! With over 300 ideas, how could I not?! I’m often coming up with new ideas, specific to our interests or the area where we live. But a lot of the things we do for date night come directly from or are built off of, an idea that’s already in the book.
For example, I’m planning to pull together an idea from two separate sections of the book this spring, restrictions allowing. Our county has a chalk art festival every year, that we love to attend. As long as it happens this year, I’m planning to enjoy dinner at a local restaurant, then walk to the chalk art festival together. Afterward, we’ll come home and create our own chalk art on the driveway in front of the house. We can easily turn it into a family date by involving the kids in any piece of the date.
![date night ideas for married couples](https://i0.wp.com/aprioritizedmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/APM-308-1-min.jpg?resize=720%2C481&ssl=1)
The Adventure Challenge – Couples Version
I love, love, love, love, love The Adventure Challenge! I’ve been hearing about it every so often for a couple of years but didn’t really know much about it until this past year. As soon as I took some time to learn more about the company, and their books, I ordered one for myself. And then I loved the concept so much that I gifted a few this holiday season.
Each book includes 50 scratch-off adventures, with a few symbols that let you know what type of date you’ll be going on, without giving it all away. We’re excited to turn to our book for one or two dates a month this next year. It will keep things fun and exciting and help us learn more about each other while enjoying new experiences together.
Use code APM10 for 10% off your purchase of any version of The Adventure Challenge.
![the adventure challenge for couples](https://i0.wp.com/aprioritizedmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/20201009_121002-1.jpg?resize=720%2C480&ssl=1)
Eight Dates
We received John Gottman’s most recent book, Eight Dates when we attended the Gottman Date Night Event hosted by Growth Marriage in 2019. I’ve had every good intention of using it on date nights, but it just hasn’t happened yet. And I haven’t read it on my own because I’ve been planning for us to read it together. This year it’s actually happening!
We’re incorporating one date from the book every month-ish this year. It might be part of our fancy dinner date each month. Or we might pull it out and work through the questions while we’re out on the town doing something. As we get further into the book, we’ll know better how to use it to strengthen our marriage. I’m really excited to add this marriage education and strengthening resource to our date night routine this year!
![make your marriage a priority](https://i0.wp.com/aprioritizedmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/APM-1069_websize.jpg?resize=720%2C481&ssl=1)
Dates Bucket List Scratch Poster
I ordered this poster with 100 date night ideas on it on a Prime Day deal a few months ago. It was one of my husband’s presents under the tree for Christmas. We haven’t found the perfect place to hang it yet. But I’m excited to have it to use when we’re not quite sure what we want to do for date night. Or maybe we’ll scratch one off for a mini-date in the middle of the week. Or use it as the starting point when we’re planning one of our dates each month. I doubt we’ll even make a dent in the 100 dates this year, especially with everything else we have in place. But I think it will be a fun addition.
![date night](https://i0.wp.com/aprioritizedmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/A-PRIORITIZED-MARRIAGE-sadiebanksphotography-364_websize-edited.jpg?resize=720%2C481&ssl=1)
I hope that sharing my plan for date night throughout the year has inspired you to think more intentionally about what you’ll be doing as well. Any time we plan something new, or go on a date, I’ll be sure to share those things with you over on Instagram stories, so be sure to follow us there. My hope is that no matter what chaos this year has in store, beyond what we already have on our plates, we’ll at least have a date night routine to keep our relationship grounded and give us something to look forward to.