Many families have a tradition of weekly family meetings. These meetings generally include a review of activities for the coming week. Planning for any big events in the future (vacations, etc.). And talks about challenges that have come up since the last meeting and how the family can work together to overcome them. In addition to meeting as a family each week, I suggest that couples have a meeting of their own. A marriage meeting to talk about the things that affect their relationship specifically.
During the first few years of our marriage, Joe and I had a significant amount of autonomy. We always stayed aware of each other’s schedules, but we never had to involve the other person in the details. At least much beyond checking to make sure that our plans didn’t interfere with something that was already planned. Changes in work schedules, group meetings for school projects, time spent with friends, etc. were communicated to each other out of respect, and to check-in.
Related: Things to Discuss During Your Weekly Marriage Meetings
After our first baby came along, it quickly became apparent that in order to maintain our personal schedules, we would need to communicate about them more often and in more detail. It took a few months, but we finally decided that we needed a weekly marriage meeting. Our weekly meetings are a time to make sure that we don’t have any conflicts in our personal schedules. And that if we do, and those events can’t be rescheduled, we have someone lined up to take care of the kids.
We also take the time to confirm date night plans, talk about any changes in our regular schedule, discuss our budget, communicate expectations, and have companion inventory or a state of our marriage conversation if needed. Our meetings aren’t very formal and they usually take place in the car on Sunday nights on our drive home from visiting family. But they keep us on the same page as a couple. And our meetings help us avoid any potential conflicts during the week.
This is a tradition that we can continue as our family grows. We still run into things during the week that could have run more smoothly if we’d remembered to discuss them earlier in the week. But the more we meet, the better our weeks go. If you don’t already have a tradition of a marriage meeting, separate from your family meetings, I suggest you start one! You can use the suggestions below to help put yours together.
Related: How to Best Communicate About Expectations in Marriage
When you’re planning your meeting time, be sure to take both of your schedules into account. If you plan your meetings for a day and time when you are both normally home, you will be more likely to follow through every week. Joe and I have our meetings on Sunday nights when we know that both of us will always be home. On the rare occasion that we aren’t able to meet, we move our meeting to a time as close to our original meeting as possible. Once you’ve chosen a time to hold your marriage meetings, add it to your calendar with a pop-up reminder so neither of you misses it!
This one is the most important! Both of you should bring your personal calendars. And if you have a family calendar posted somewhere in your house, you can add to that during the meeting as well. I always have my planner in front of me when we talk. That way I can put our events in there and make note of the things that Joe has going on as well. After our meetings, I make sure to send Joe a calendar invite for any events that affect him.
We also use our meeting time to make sure that we’re on the same page with our money. I add all of our transactions from the previous week into the budgeting app on my phone sometime before our meeting and then open the app during our meeting. This is usually just a quick check-in to see how we’re doing on our monthly budget. And we discuss any changes that need to be made or any big purchases in the coming week.
Related: Why You Need to be a Team with Your Finances, Always
Those of you who have kids might find it beneficial to have a bigger family meeting after you’ve met and are on the same page as a couple. Use this time to talk about events that you have planned for the family in the coming week. Let your kids know what night you’ve scheduled for date night and who is scheduled to babysit them. And make sure that all of the kids’ extracurricular activities and plans are accounted for on the calendar as well.
In our home, this meeting would be held on Monday after family night. And we plan to start doing this when our kids are just a little bit older. I suggest holding your marriage meeting first. This way, you can discuss things before they come up in your family meeting. You might still be surprised by a few things in the moment. But making sure you’re on the same page going into the meeting will help things go that much more smoothly.
Couple “business” meetings are a great time to align your schedules. And talk about any obstacles that have come up the previous week. But it’s also a great time to plan some fun. Plan family outings, and future vacations, and talk about your plans for upcoming holidays. When you’re meeting as a family, let everyone share something that they would love to see added to the meal plan for the next week or month. Set goals, recognize family members for their achievements, etc.
Weekly meetings are a tradition that can be fun at the same time as being beneficial to your marriage and your family. Find a way to make these meetings special for you with a treat or activity afterward. I’m excited to continue our weekly meetings and use them to keep our home organized and running smoothly for years to come.
P.S. Check out this Couples Contract Worksheet to help you navigate challenges and create a stronger foundation in your marriage.
Do you have a tradition of family or couple meetings already? What tips would you add to this list?
