I was in college for the first five and a half years of our relationship. I started my degree two months before we met in 2010. And I graduated a couple of months before our five-year wedding anniversary. Joe ran a lawn care business as a teenager. but he set that aside for two years to serve an LDS mission. When he got home, he met me and four months later, got the ball rolling to start his lawn care business over from scratch.
Throughout our relationship, we each have invested our time and energy into various things that we are passionate about. After you get married, you can still go after your own dreams. But rather than doing it on your own, you get to work toward your goals and dreams as a team. Make it a goal to make your spouse’s goals your goals as well.
A couple of years ago, I was interviewing Deidre of Deidre Emme for the Wives to Watch in Every Stage of Life series and she talked about this exact thing. She mentioned how so many people would always tell her that they admired her for being a baseball wife and supporting her husband from afar during baseball season. As we were talking, she said something that really resonated with me.
Deidre mentioned that Adam’s baseball career was something that he began pursuing long before he met her. But it became something that they pursued together after they got married. Achieving that goal was as important to Deidre as it was to Adam. Baseball was something that the two of them were doing together during that stage of their life. I’ve watched them approach other endeavors with the same attitude and support.
The same is true for things that Joe and I decide to pursue as individuals. I may have been the one going to classes, doing homework, taking tests, and walking across the stage at graduation. But it was as much an accomplishment for Joe as it was for me. He supported me the entire way, and encouraged me to keep going and never give up. And he helped make it possible for me to get my degree without going into debt.
Joe was the one who mowed lawns, purchased equipment, hired his crew, etc. during the lawn care stage of our lives. But we were both in it together. Whenever he had a decision to make about Mow Joe, he discussed it with me and asked me what he should do. All the way up through the time we decided together that lawn care was no longer the thing for our family.
Related: How to Support Your Spouse While They’re in School
Are you and your spouse involved with each other’s passions? Because you can and should be making your spouse’s goals and the things that they care about a priority. Even if it’s something that you aren’t interested in personally. You don’t have to go out and run a marathon with your spouse or get up early every morning to help them train. But you can get up and fix them a good post-run breakfast, and make sure their workout clothes are always clean. And you should be there to cheer them on as they cross the finish line.
Related: The Secret to Successful Goal Setting as a Couple
Marriage can tie you down if you aren’t willing to support each other in the things that you want to do. But marriage will open doors that weren’t previously available to you. Because you have someone who is invested in your future. Someone who will push you to be your best and live your dreams! Be that person for your spouse by supporting them in their endeavors. And also by doing everything that you can to help them achieve their dreams. The goals that you set together and separately will help you grow as an individual and as a couple. Those goals aren’t just theirs, they are yours as well!
What is something that your spouse is passionate about? What are you doing or what can you be doing to make their goal a priority for yourself as well?
Photography by Kayla Brooke Photography